Forgiveness is a theme that continues to come up, for those of us who like to examine our lives so we can live them to their fullest.
I have dealt with most my issues that needed forgiveness throughout the years. But there are a couple issues that I cannot seem to release into the Universe for complete healing. The reason for this is that they have become such a part of “who I am today,” that to let them go might change me. Yes, I know, for the better, right?
But there is the rub. Even though I know that forgiveness will heal those deep wounds, even though I know that I will be a better person by forgiving those that have wronged me, I haven’t the courage (yet) to move to that next step. Instead, I admire the strength that I have gained from those battle wounds. I admire the love I have poured onto those who have wronged me in the past. I admire the compassion I feel toward those wounds and those who have wronged me. But I have not found the courage to forgive them from my Heart.
This is why, I think: what if, when I forgive them, I release them from obligation toward me? In other words, what if my forgiveness sets them free? What if it sends them on their way, away from me? I have seen this happen, time and again, where a person is released from their obligation through forgiveness, and they then leave, no longer obliged to stick around because the lessons have been learned?
So I hold these last few instances of forgiveness in my Heart, sending love and compassion to those who have wronged me, but not yet offering forgiveness to the few that I hold dearest in my Heart. It’s not the right thing to do, and I know at some point I must forgive them in my Heart. But today, I hold on to them with that little string of obligation.