Today I was reminded, once again, that my expectations may not match others’ expectations, nor should I expect them to match up.
This has been a huge part of my life lesson. As a young child, I placed expectations on what I expected from my parents. I wanted them to tell me I was the most beautiful girl in the world. They didn’t. I even asked my mom once if I was the most beautiful girl on the world, and she answered, “Well, you’re not the most beautiful girl.” When I pressed her with the question, “But am I the most beautiful girl that you know?” She answered, that wouldn’t be fair for me to say because you have two sisters. Humphh! I was maybe six years old, I am sure my 18 and 16 year old sisters would have allowed her that little indiscretion. But it stuck with me. I had expectations that all parents thought their children were the best in the world.
As I grew older, my relationship with my brother changed. Again, I placed expectations on him, and of course, he let me down. After all, he wasn’t living his life for me. He wasn’t conforming to my wishes because they did not align with his happiness. But it took me years to accept that.
I have placed my expectations on my husband and on my children. I have to keep reminding myself that they are living their own life, and I cannot expect them to live it the way I think their lives should be played out.
It’s difficult when you place expectations on your children. You love them and you love their independence. And yet, when they do something irresponsible or depend on you too much, it becomes an irritation for me. I start to resent them for their behaviors. But again, when I step back, I realize that this is me placing my expectations on what I think they should do. Granted, I have some years of experience and they could benefit from my knowledge, but did I ever really listen to my own mother’s words of wisdom when I was 21 or 22 years old? (I’ll leave that one alone. We all know the answer to that.)
So today, while doing a ten minute meditation in the beautiful outdoors, I asked for assistance in releasing my expectations from others. I had a really hard time breathing through this morning’s meditation, as I knew this was some big work I am experiencing.
I only hope I get “credit” for trying. lol