In Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening, he speaks of the people who taught us to love, and he reminds us it was the moments, and not the necessarily the words, that made us feel love.
I am reminded of when my first son was born. My fondest moment, other than his birth and the joy that both my husband and I shared, was when my mom came to visit us shortly after his birth. I remember holding my precious baby and being filled with love, and during this moment, I felt the love of my mother so strongly, it stuck with me. It was that moment when you understand how much a parent loves their child. I projected that love onto my son, and she projected that love onto me. No words were spoken about that connection, but that moment was not lost on me.
Another memory stays with me involving my dad. He died when I was only 8 years old, and so I have very few memories of him. I never recall him telling me he loved me. I’m sure he must have, especially as he grew nearer death. But I do remember sitting with him on his reclining chair, and feeling very special because he would let me sit with him. Those moments stay with me, though the words are lost from them.
Jeff and I share many loving moments, including the predictable wedding memory and birth of our children memories. But one of the strongest moments of love for him that I have came from a difficult time in our marriage. I remember thinking to myself, I have this moment to decide if this marriage is worth the struggle we are going through or not. I spent some time with that debate, and it was my deep-felt love for him that made me decide to stay in the marriage. It was the first time that I had that “ah-ha” moment of realizing I was making this choice, and my decision was based entirely on my love for him. Being practical or sensible, I would have left the marriage at that time.
How often do we associate love with moments? Can you look back and rediscover moments in your life that defined “love” without words?