Changing Others

As a mother of adult children, I am guilty of wanting them to turn out just the way I want them to. I want them to get into a great career, meet a girl, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have kids, and be successful in each of these endeavors. Who doesn’t want that, right? Of course, young men don’t always have the same ideals. If I mention this list to them, I hear, “Ya ya ya, but now I am just BEING.”

Which makes me think: all these plans, where is the BEING present? All of them look to the future.

I think our greatest downfall, when we try to change others, is that we are looking to the future.And that isn’t  a bad thing. But by doing so, we forget the present. Which is more important. By living in the present, we don’t need to change anyone. We accept who they are, at this very moment. THIS is enough. But if we start thinking about the future, about THEIR future, that is where we get into the mode of trying to change the present.

By changing others, we deny them the opportunity to learn and grow into themselves. We would never purposefully set out to do that, would we? And yet, that is the outcome of our control over them.

Today, as we interact with our loved ones, let’s just watch them handle each situation and try not to change it for them. Let’s watch them learn and grow into themselves.

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