Stop talking, stop thinking
And there is nothing you will not understand
Seng-Ts’an
Perhaps the biggest lesson we can learn in life is to stop talking and listen to what the other person has to say. Stop forming an opinion before they have completed their entire thoughts. As thoughts go, sometimes they change as we begin to express, and then more clearly define, them.
I am guilty of this. My brain starts interacting with a conversation before my mouth is allowed to utter a word. The other person hasn’t finished their sentence and my brain is wanting to complete their thoughts. Of course, in a way that suits MY interpretation of their thoughts. And sometimes we are wrong in what we think they will say. Oftentimes we are wrong.
I remember when one of my sons got into some trouble at the junior high. It was inquisition night in the Sand household, with both boys sitting down with us for some serious discussion about behaviors of ninth and tenth grade boys. My son was not wanting to admit his wrong-doing, and my husband and I were drilling him. And then I could tell my son was ready to confess. My husband continued to drill and talk. I had noticed the difference in the son, and so I told my husband we needed to listen now, because the boy had something to say. He spilled his guts and shared his guilt with us. If I hadn’t stopped talking and stopped thinking, I would have missed the little sign that my son was ready to confess.
In our daily life, we remind ourselves to pay closer attention to others around us, including people, places and things. In yoga, we remind ourselves to sit still for just a few minutes at the beginning of class and the end of class, practicing the idea of stop talking, stop thinking. In doing so, we become more skilled at really hearing what others have to say.